Surf: General: Assholes earns its name from the contempt that some surfers generally hold for beachfront homeowners. From time to time, Assholes provides consistent surf and breaks closer to shore than at Octagon, farther down the coast. Located at the east end of Surfside Beach, Assholes can be accessed by a beach road that Texas locals identify through nearby houses. If you are looking to shortboard in Surfside, it would probably be best to ask for directions to Assholes from a local, as that's the best spot to do so. Tides: Medium Size: Waist to slightly overhead Wind: N, NW or W with swell Swell: S, SE Bottom: Sand. Paddling: Drift sessions are the call with consistently strong longshore currents. Spot Rating: Can occasionally light up if everything comes together. Access: Easy, park on the beach. Crowds: Crowd Factor: Sparse. Local Vibe: Positive. Environment: Proximity to Houston shipping channel and runoff from Galveston equals often not the best water quality. Hazards: Loose sand if driving the beach. Season: Late summer/fall; late winter to mid-spring